New wheatly Lines

Ultiman9711 wrote:
tile wrote:

these sound 100% legit! did valve make these?

Apparently there's a new tf2 item called the "ApSap", which is basically a Wheatley skinned sapper. These lines seem to be 100% Valve-made!

He's got a BOATLOAD. There's a list of them on the Portal wiki, but here are some good ones if you don't want to click a link:

Quote:
Being Shot
Oh my God, they're shooting at us! They're shooting at us! Don't panic, but they are shooting at us!
All right, fun's over! Fun's over! Put me back in the pocket!
Seriously, now--put me away. 'Cause I don't want any piece of this.
Are these--are these live?! Do I actually hear shooting?! Is this live rounds?! Is it live ammunition?!

Death
You know what? It's not the winning, is it? It's the taking part that counts. And you're, uh...and you're doing that.
If you're alive, can you say something? Jump around, so I know you're okay! Unless you've broken your legs, in which case, don't jump around - that'll just make it worse!

Sapping
Okay! I'm about to start hacking!

Sapping a Building
typing buzz It's gonna be trickier than I thought. Do--uh, we should be making a note of this. Have you got a pen? Make a note of--of what I'm doing.
Okay, wait--here's a brain wave! Yes! Oh wait, no--I've got it! I've got-- buzz No, that won't work.
typing Oh! Good news! buzz Never mind.
typing Oh, what is it? What's it likely to be? What's your mother's maiden name? Probably not gonna be that, is it?
Okay, if I had--if I was gonna do a password, do you know what I'd do? Zebra! Zebra! It's gotta be zebra! typing Z-E-B-R-A. buzz Not a zebra! That's--I'd have put money on zebra, if I'm honest.
Guess how many wires are in one of these things? What's your guess? Five or six? No, I'll tell you what it is: it's actually six million!
First rule of hacking: look for the green wire! And...mmm. What color would you say that is?
First rule of hacking: look for the green wire! Oh...what color would you say that is? It's more of a sort of aqua marine, isn't it?
First rule of hacking: look for the green wire! Oh, that's--that's a sort of--that's more like a dark forest green...

Destroyed a Building
Looking--do you know what? Looking good, if I'm honest. Looking really good.
I tell you, this is going much better than I ever expected it would.
Act natural--all right? Just--just play it cool, we've done nothing wrong. Couple of people, going about their business. Just a couple of dudes, doing their thing.

Idle responses I love this whole section.
pages turning Hmm. pages turning Oh! Oh, sorry. Sorry! Hope that didn't disturb you too much, then. That was--did you hear that noise? Yeah, that was just the sound of...some books. Pages being turned. By me. 'Cause I was reading...the books. chuckles You know what it's like, you know? When you get the urge. And--and ability. To read. Suddenly takes you, you're like I've gotta read some books! So that was what I was doing, just reading the old, uh--some of the old bloody classics. Of literature. By uh...Dickens. And uh...um...others. So uh, so I'm not a moron.
cleaning noises Oh! Sorry! Sorry, sorry! I hope I didn't disturb you too much, then. Um, I was just polishing...my book museum. When it occurred to me that I've read all of the books. Tragic! Speaking as, uh, someone who can literally read. Not bragging, not trying to show off; but uh, but I can read. And uh, yeah! I've just been working my way through all of the classics, really: Pride and Punishment, Brothers Masagiganovnov, Franken's...Dickinson. Um, read all of 'em. So I'm not a moron.
classical music Oh! Sorry! Sorry, sorry! I hope I didn't disturb you too much, then. Um, I'm listening to some uh, classical music. This one is by, um--what's his name? Wolfgang...uh, Wolfgang Beethoven. Who--my personal favorite, if I'm honest. Um, I just love all the--I just love all the bloody melodies! That he comes up with. Hummable, they are. That's--to me, that is the mark of great music, if you can hum along. And I can, to this one, on all of them. So I'm not a moron.
pages turning Hmm. pages turning Ah! So yeah, finished reading all the books now! All the books ever made. So...good riddance. To that fun, I mean. You know, I love--too much fun, actually. It was--I was getting tired of all the fun. Of reading. Just...ah! What fun! So I'm not a moron.
Looks like you're having fun! At least. Yeah, why not? Have a bit of fun. Enjoy yourself.
This is a--this is amazing! We can--we can walk wherever we want! Look, just go left. No, go right! Go right! Don't even care, don't even care. Just go wherever you want. Couldn't care less.
Let me just interject a thought here: I would love to run in the other direction. I don't know what you're feeling. I've been thinking about it, giving it some thought: almost certain death, running in the other direction. That's the one I'm leaning towards. Option B.
Let me tell you where I am right now: I am of the view of running away in the other direction. Don't know what you're thinking, but that's my view. At this juncture.
Just, you know--uh, please do keep a--a tight grip on me. If you would. Just using grip. Classic grip. You know, just grip tightly. That's what I'm saying. 'Cause I'm quite, uh--I'm surprisingly fragile.

Pulled out
(just a bunch of variations on "Hello")

Put back
No no no no no! Wait wait wait wait wait!!
Oh, not the pocket!

Intro
What's going on here, then?
Oh, hacking something, are we?
Oh, hacking something, are we? Cheeky.
Uh, you've come to the right guy.
Don't wanna brag. Master hacker.

Sneaking
Oh, are we--are we sneaking now? Are we? Sorry, I should--should keep my trap shut. Sorry.
It's probably worth flagging up, if we're gonna do any sneaking. Just--just quietly, just go sneaking! And then I'll keep qu--I'll keep schtum.
Shouldn't we both have...ski masks? 'Cause if this job goes south, I don't wanna--you know, take all the rap.
Look at the pair of us, sneaking around. Like a couple of ne'er-do-wells.
Dashing rogues! The both of us. Like Robin Hood or something! Role playing. Love it. Absolutely love it.