Official Terrible Puns Thread :3
A: Sign Language!
Q: When Did Adam get married to his wife?
A: In the Eve-ning 
Q: What Kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
A: Floodlights
Q: Is the cake a lie?
A: Yes, yes it is.
Q: Why can't valve count to three?
A: Because too many people look four-word to it :3
Q: How can you tell a good boxing joke from a bad one?
A: With a good boxing joke you don't have to watch out for the punchline...
Q: How come Noah didn't fish on the ark?
A: He only had two worms...
Come on, post up some bad puns!
Okay, okay...
I'm giving out batteries, free of charge!
My modified theory of plate tectonics is on shaky ground.
If you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
A: Justin Beiber, that is all
Q: How do you tell if one blonde is smarter than the other blonde?
A: You don't, it's theory is still being developed
Q: What's Glados's favorite song?
A: Never gonna give you up
Q: Why'd the football coach go to the bank?
A: He wanted his quarter back
Q: Why is six afraid of seven?
A: Cause seven 8 nine?
Stop wineing!
That beer has barley has any wheat in it!
That's a reisling-ably priced wine
Hops to it!
That'll be the case eh?
Why would you want to buy zero sugar JD & cola? Whiskey is fermented by sugar!
ChickenMobile wrote:
Sometimes I say these to my customers (I work in a bottle-o):Stop wineing!
That beer has barley has any wheat in it!
That's a reisling-ably priced wine
Hops to it!
That'll be the case eh?
Why would you want to buy zero sugar JD & cola? Whiskey is fermented by sugar!
Someone likes beer and wine 
Tmast98 wrote:
ChickenMobile wrote:Sometimes I say these to my customers (I work in a bottle-o):
Stop wineing!
That beer has barley has any wheat in it!
That's a reisling-ably priced wine
Hops to it!
That'll be the case eh?
Why would you want to buy zero sugar JD & cola? Whiskey is fermented by sugar!Someone likes beer and wine
Looks like we'll just have to grin and beer it >=3
phoenix Wright desk slam
PUN IS NOT EXCEPTION!
Another Bad Pun wrote:
punception
What?!?! Another bad pun!
Joker: Where is she...I sent her to starbucks ten minutes ago!
Harley: I brought the news paper in for ya mister Jay.
Joker: =_= takes news paper Yes now get my coffee while I read the funny papers...hmm...oh, Mrs Newman died today :3
Harley: Oh mister Jay!
Joker: WHAT IS IT?!
Harley: You have a guest and he's very eager to see you, should I let him in? :3
Joker: Fine fine whatever....let's see.....oh, mis Ivy got villainess of the month again.
Batman: Sorry to interrupt, but you're under arrest...
Joker: BATMAN? How did you find my lair?
Batman: Your secretary let me in the front door....
Joker: DAMMIT ALICE, One of these days, ONE OF THESE DAYS!!
Fin~
Another Bad Pun wrote:
punception
Wait, I don't...oh. Well played.
Atlas and P-body have joined the Special Forces in space! Looks like they've joined the Space Corps!
Hedgehogs: Why can't they just share the hedge?
Well, in the German version the Space Core only says silent "Ich bin im Weltraum".
Decomposing! Hahahah... Anybody.. no? okay.
Arachnaphob wrote:
What is Beethoven doing in his grave?Decomposing! Hahahah... Anybody.. no? okay.
An elaboration:
*When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."*
Also:
I did a theatrical performance about puns. In truth, it was just a play on words.
Was
Beautiful
Spanish core: SPAAAAAAAIN!