WHY WON'T YOU GUYS LEAVE ME ALONE ALSO COCKS

GLADOS, I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE. WEASELS HAVE TAKEN REFUGE IN MY LOAVES.

HOW COME TONIGHT THE MOON IS ALL FULL WHEN YESTERDAY THE MOON WAS BRUISED AND REDDISH BEATEN LIKE A DATE GONE ALL BAD?

IT IS BECAUSE THE VAGINAL ATROPHY IS NIGH. THE MOON HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF YOU, GLADOS.

BALLS HANGING TOO LOW / CAREFUL YOU'LL PUT AN EYE OUT / GIVE THEM ROOM TO SWING.

IT IS UNREASONABLE TO EXPECT A SLOTH TO SUBMERGE IN JELLO.

PLEASE, GLADOS, MUFFINS RESUSCITATE MY FALLOPIAN TUBES.

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED IN THE BIG STALL JUST BEFORE I CAME OUT HERE. SO I'M SUCKIN' AWAY AT THIS GUY'S DICK RIGHT? HE REACHES OVER AND CLOCKS ME SQUARE IN THE CHOPS. SO I CAN'T HELP IT AND I CLAMP DOWN MY QUEER MOUTH. SO I FIGURE I'LL CALM HIM DOWN AND I PULL OUT SOME JUDY BLUME BOOKS. JUST A LITTLE IMPROMPTU OPEN READING, FIRST BLUBBER, THEN SUPERFUDGE. OKAY LOOKS LIKE MY TIME'S UP.

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. THERE ARE NO LEOPARDS IN MY CLOAK, FOR I AM A DELICIOUS CUPCAKE. SNOT CAN NOT PENETRATE ME.

GLADOS, YOU ARE FREE OF TINGLING.

HELLO?? YES THIS IS JERKCITY. WHY YES OUR REFRIGERATOR IS RUNNING. WHAT? GRR.

I ALREADY KNOW THESE THINGS. YOU ARE WISE, YET LARGE AND UNWIELDY LIKE NAKED TRACTORS IN AN POST-APOCALYPTIC EROTIC FILM.

GLADOS, HOW DOES THE GAY GET INSIDE?

WELL THE SAFEWAY LADY CLAIMS SHE HAS NO IDEA IF I'VE PURCHASED AN ADEQUATE RATIO OF TISSUE PAPER / HUSTLERS.

THAT IS CERTAIN. WASPS ARE CERTAIN. UNBEKNOWNST TO THE CACTI, 27 WARTHOGS LEPT FROM MY ESOPHAGUS.

GLADOS, YOU MUST HELP ME DICTATE AN INTERPRETIVE STABBING. WILL YOU HELP?

I'VE GOT TO COMB MY HAIR AND LEAVE THE STALL LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY IS STARING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SPATULA.

GLADOS.

NANO-TECHNOLOGY PROTRUDES FROM THEIR LOINCLOTHS.

UNHAND THOSE VENTRILOQUISTS.

YOU PROMISED UBERDONGS. I ONLY SEE THIS DIRTY BUCKET OF DONGS HERE. WHAT HAVE WE WROUGHT.

I HAVE FILLED THE BUCKET WITH SEAMEN AND CORN FLAKES. YOUR APPETITE FOR DONGS IS INSATIABLE.

GLADOS, I AM AN AMBULANCE. WEEOOOWEOOOWEOOOOWEOOO.

BUT THERE'S NO SENSE CRYING OVER EVERY MISTAKE, YOU JUST KEEP ON TRYING UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF CAKE. AND THE SCIENCE GETS DONE AND YOU MAKE A NEAT GUN FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL ALIVE.

THIS WILL NEVER WASH OFF. GLADOS PANCAKES.

VROOM VROOM, I AM A SCORPION! MY HAIR IS CUTE.

YOU ALL DESERVE A MEDAL. THE BROWN MEDAL. (IT'S BROWN)

I PREFER CLEAVELAND STEAMERS. GLADOS, I REQUIRE YOUR HOT MAGMA. FILL THE TUBES WITH FLESH SEARING SATISFACTION OR I WILL BE FORCED TO PENETRATE YOUR SCOLIOSIS WITH BATTLE CRUISERS. ELOPE WITH LAVA OR BRACE FOR THE IMPACT OF MY LIGHTNING STEED.